Twenty random things about twenty years of marriage…

Jill Blog 13 Comments

photo credit: Jen Lints Photography

September 1st was our twentieth wedding anniversary. Twenty feels so BIG. I’m not sure why it’s different than nineteen or twelve. Something just feels special about it. I’m guessing all the following “big” ones will feel the same. There is something magical and sweet about marriage. About having a person committed to you despite the moments of being your worst self. I’m so grateful for that! As I reflected on the last two decades, I started a list of twenty random things about the years…things I’ve learned or noticed or just something that stood out to me.

So here is my list…twenty random things about twenty years of marriage.

  1. We bought a business! (And then oh my goodness, what were we thinking—we bought a business.)
  2. Children – they’ve taught me how much patience is lacking in my life. 😊
  3. Postpartum depression is the worst. Getting through it and coming through the other side—priceless.
  4. Prayer works. It is such a balm on the days when life gets stressful.
  5. Even in the moments I thought I was alone, I wasn’t. God never leaves our side.
  6. So nice to not only love my spouse, but to like him and want to hang out with him.
  7. A hug goes a long way.
  8. I talk a lot. I am very much a verbal processor.
  9. Asking for help is hard, accepting help is hard, going it alone is much harder.
  10. We think our kids are the coolest—we are biased.
  11. When the hard stuff happens, I’m thankful we have each other.
  12. I’m not sure who is more stubborn. Truly, it is a tossup. (Lord, help us.) 😉
  13. It’s so nice to have a logical, problem-solving spouse.
  14. Laughter is good for the marriage.
  15. Cooking is really not my thing, but my husband sweetly and honestly likes whatever I cook. Bonus!
  16. I started writing books. (And then oh my goodness, what was I thinking attempting to write books—this is way harder than I realized it would be!)
  17. Have I mentioned I’m not a patient person? Oy. I’m sorry to everyone around me.
  18. In response to number fifteen, my husband is great at grabbing to-go food when it’s his turn to “cook.”
  19. Love, love, love vacationing with our little family. The ocean is our favorite place. Okay, maybe it’s just my favorite place, but I’ve forced that love on everyone else.
  20. Thankful. Grateful. All the words to express what a blessing it is to be married twenty years after we said I do.

photo credit: Jen Lints Photography

I’d love to hear a few random things from your last two decades. Married or not—it doesn’t matter—tell me, what’s something you’ve learned over the years about yourself? What memories stick out to you? DO TELL. Inquiring minds want to know.

Also – don’t forget to pop over to my current giveaways happening on my news page! I’m cleaning out my office and have books that need new homes.

Comments 13

  1. Cindy Davis

    We have been married for 22 years. I think it is important that you never “arrive” if you will. Marriage is a process with a lot of different seasons. Some good, some bad, and some just whatever, LOL. Communication goes a long way. I love my husband more today than I did when I said “I do.” I feel like we grew up together (in our marriage) and it has been fun raising our kids and seeing them become adults (son is 16, almost an adult 😉 ). Enjoy all the seasons, especially the one you are in. It’s great to be present and enjoy the moments because we are not guaranteed the next. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Debbie DiMascio

    We just celebrated our 28 the wedding anniversary on Saturday. We have always tried to keep each other our favorite person to be treated with love and respect! Many ups and downs, but God has been with us and blessed us. We are enjoying our adult children and out 4 grandchildren..nothing like it, 💙💙💜💙

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  3. Monica

    Happy Anniversary!
    I love your list. I love having someone who treasures my joy. Isn’t it the best to look at each other in moments of pure joy and have the joy made greater through that connection? And understanding those looks only comes with decades of time together.

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  4. Patricia J Sabin

    I’m going to steal some of yours because they fit me too!
    1. Children – taught me to love unconditionally
    2. Prayer is necessary for my daily mental health
    3. Knowing and believing that God is always with me
    4. I not only love my husband, I like him and spend time with him
    5. I need hugs – at least 5 or 6 every day – or even more!
    6. I talk a lot but he gives me great insight into everything!
    7. Asking for and accepting help is very hard but necessary –
    both for me as a taker (which I hate doing) but also for the giver to be able to give too
    8. I KNOW my kids are the coolest – all 13 of them!
    9. Blessed with 22 grandchildren + 1 who went to heaven last year
    10. I’m way more stubborn but he is okay with that – sometimes 😉
    11. I married the best problem solver
    12. Laughter is good for the marriage. And necessary to keep it alive
    13. My husband is a great cook! And he does it without asking! <3
    14. I'm not very patient but I'm learning
    15. We love to travel together! We have the
    best conversations when traveling – no one can leave the car 😉
    16. I'm thank for a husband that puts up with me and my
    many foibles and loves me unconditionally
    17. We are blessed to share our same deep faith in the Lord
    It will be 20 years this coming December!
    18. We met when our first spouses died of cancer so
    we are doubly blessed to have each other.
    I was married for 30 years; he was for 26 years <3
    LOVE NEVER FAILS!

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  5. Susan Snodgrass

    Tom and I have been married 43 years. He never fails to make me laugh. He is so wonderful. He would do anything to make me happy. He is my forever person. We have a solid foreverness. I would rather hang with him than anyone else. We love the empty nest! We do everything together. I miss him every day when he goes to work. I thank God for the great blessing of a great husband.

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      Jill

      I have loved getting to know your and Tom’s relationship through your posts, Susan. It is beautiful. So glad you have each other! What a blessing

  6. Alicia Haney

    Hi , I enjoyed reading this, and Congratulations. My husband and I have been married for 44yrs. and together for 45. I think communication is the outmost important thing in a marriage, also I think a marriage is we have to put 100% into a marriage, not just like we have always heard that a marriage consists of 50 -50, nope, it doesn’t work that way. Also if a couple has children , we have to both be in agreement about their raising, its not like you ask your mom or go ask your dad, a couple has to work together for the good of their children. I loved reading your post, thank you for sharing. Have a great rest of the week and stay safe. God Bless you and your family.

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      Jill

      I agree! I remember in our premarital session our pastor said in marriage, everyone gives 100 percent, not 50/50. That always stuck with me. Thank you for commenting! So fun to hear your input.

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