Hey mama

Jill Uncategorized 19 Comments

Hey mama,

It’s your birthday. Do they do those in heaven? Or do they only celebrate every thousand years because of forever? I’m guessing if they didn’t have parties before you arrived, they are having one today. You definitely know how to gather a crowd. Don’t have too much fun without us before we get there.

You lived more life in thirty-eight years than some people live in a lifetime. I think about you often. Last week, I received the final copy of Just Show Up to read through. Of course I wanted to text you, to celebrate with you. I think you would be so excited to see it. I imagine your text saying how you’re just “tickled” about how it turned out. About how crazy it is that your name is now on not just one, but two books. Have I ever mentioned how proud I am of you? Two books and soon to be a third, all while fighting cancer. You’re a rock star. Last night Terry and I were discussing how we expect you to come around the corner at any moment and make him lip sync or sing some eighties or nineties song with you or pull one of us onto a dance floor. About how it doesn’t seem real that you’re gone. But I guess you’re not gone. You just went home first.

The time with you feels like a blink. We didn’t get to know you as long as some of your lovely people here on earth, but the moments we did have were so good. We packed in a lot in those few years. Maybe there’s something good to be said for suffering—relationships get fast forwarded. There isn’t time to waste. And I’m so glad we didn’t.

To say that I wish you were here to celebrate another earthly birthday is the understatement of the century. I hope you’re celebrating big up there. We’re going to do that down here too. Funny thing is, even though tears are streaming down my face, I want to choose joy today. You always did. We sure had fun last year, didn’t we? Your house packed full of people just the way you like it. All of us wondering if it would be your last birthday on earth but not willing to let the thought slip from our mouths. All of us clinging to a party full of joy instead of sorrow.

You did good. You did so good. I’m so proud of you for using the hard you were given to glorify God. I’m thankful to have called you a friend. I know this will shock you, but now I want to file these words away on my computer and hide them. But for your sake, for that extroverted, share-it-all personality of yours, I’ll post it for the world to see.

I miss you, mama. I love you. Save me a room up there.

Comments 19

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  1. Susan

    Thank you, Jill. I look forward to when your book comes out. I’ve already pre-ordered it!! I am currently walking a friend thru Stage 4 melanoma and I NEED its words of advice and wisdom! TY for writing this one w/ Kara!! Blessings on you!

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  2. Ginger Klietz

    On a beautiful April afternoon my best friend was killed by a drunk driver; she was 35 yrs. old. We had been practically inseparable since we were 11; I was, and still am, grateful for those 25 yrs. of friendship. She packed at least 10 lifetimes into those 35 yrs. and never let me forget I needed to show respect to her because she was older than me…..ummm, yeah, by a whopping 30 days. It’s now been 29 years since her death….oh and of course I’m 29 yrs older than her.

    Love never dies, love doesn’t end when the body does…you don’t ‘get over it’ but you do get on with it. You learn to closely watch as God presents ‘people opportunities’ to share the graces He showered you with during the time you’ve had with that precious soul who has left the party before you. I floundered a little after my friend died, we were like halves of each other; even 29 yrs later there are times it’s as if it just happened. But God has richly blessed my life utilizing what my friend and I shared with one another into ministering to many others.

    I see you actually began this process before Kara went Home by collaborating/co-authoring Just Show Up and also agreeing to help keeping her blog going. But all that aside, Jill, you have something so wonderful…it’s obvious you are in love with Jesus.

    Thank you for sharing your private thoughts to Kara with us on what I know had to be a Hard. If I still lived in Colorado I would’ve offered you a special coffee and a Sister-in-Christ hug. Take care, Jill.

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      Jill

      Ginger, I am so sorry to hear about your best friend. I imagine that loss is still strongly felt. Thank you for commenting, for the encouragement and the hug/coffee. I virtually accept. 🙂

  3. Jeanne Takenaka

    Yah, I’m a bit late on commenting here. 🙂 Vacations will do that to a girl. I loved reading this post, and your beautiful reminder to celebrate this moment, and to choose joy . . . always. We have some hard times coming to our family, and I’m going to do just that . . . choose joy. Hugs for you, my friend!

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  4. Patty

    You are beautiful, Jill-inside and out! What a blessing The Lord gave you in your friendship with Kara. May God continue to be your source of strength and comfort.

  5. Donna Parrack

    “You lived more life in thirty-eight years than some people live in a lifetime.” What a nice thing for someone to say about you! How special it must have been to be included in her circle of friends! Kara was loved by many, many people, some whom she’d never met. I’m guessing there is a dance party going on in heaven today. Thank you, Jill, for sharing your heart with us.

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