The truth about back to school

I actually love my kids going back to school. I promise, I’m not a mean mom. I don’t despise summer. I was even fighting to keep summer going these last few weeks. Getting up at a certain time and being somewhere at a certain time are tough when school starts. But once I get over that knowledge, I get excited. I get more writing time and more of everything done while the kids are in school. It’s nice to have a schedule again. I realize it will be good, and we all embrace the idea of school starting.

And then the paperwork starts arriving at our house. It comes out of folders, ears, you name it. Children call out things like, I need this signed, and then they toss them at me in the car while I’m at a stop light. I put it in the passenger seat, determined to look at it right when I get home. Because, surely, this is the year I’m going to be organized. This is the year. I can feel it. But really what I feel is a niggling sense of dread that I’m ALREADY missing something. But I push that aside. School is only one day in. How far behind can I be?

ALL THE THINGS need to be signed, and I’m on it. I’ve got a list going. Notes go on the kitchen floor for each kid with items they need to remember. I’m totally going to nail this. All of this organization lasts a full day. Then the panic starts to set in. Yes, I’ve entered the school and volleyball and band calendars into my phone. (Okay, not quite true, but I have done two out of the three. That has to count for something.) But I know there’s more schedule stuff coming. I know it. And then, there’s the chance that they might change the schedule that I’ve already entered into the calendar. And when they change the things, it will be on an email that comes in while I’m once again at a stoplight, and there is no chance it will make it to my calendar. NO CHANCE. Those changes will be like little buzzing mosquitoes in my ears. Was there something I was supposed to change? To do? To sign? AM I FORGETTING A CHILD SOMEWHERE?? I only have two. It shouldn’t be this hard. Suddenly I know I’m doomed before it even begins.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, teachers. THERE IS A REASON WE ARE SENDING OUR CHILDREN to YOU. Because we don’t know how to adult. We are horrible at adulting. Okay, maybe about half of us are. The other half have no trouble with the paperwork coming home. Or the schedule. Or the adulting in general. Please, adulting parents, have pity on us non-adulting parents. We need you. We need reminder texts and Facebook posts that say things like: hey, non-adulting parents, our kids need this in class tomorrow and I know you don’t have a clue about it.

We are fine with this kind of ridicule as long as someone tells us WHAT IS GOING ON.

We readily admit our lack of paperwork and organizational skills. I see the look of panic on my face in the mornings. I wonder what will we forget today? It’s like a fun (and by that I mean torturous) game. I know it will be something, but I have no idea what. If I knew what we were going to forget… well, you guessed it. I would remember to put it in the car and then forget it in there.

I thought I was on it this year. I really did. I had a list y’all. All the things were crossed off of it. Which means all the things should be done. But then I got this email. *sigh*

And then I think… why even try? No one is expecting me to adult. They know better. So if I could just sign a form right now that says I GIVE UP. Please don’t expect anything out of me. Just getting my kids to school most days is a push. Now that is a form I would remember to sign.

I think.